


Sometimes Love Isn't Enough

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 20:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10226840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	

“Y/N, I’ve told you a million times!” he screamed as he returned from the bedroom in his pajamas. “I can’t just tell the Bureau to fuck off just because you miss me! You don’t think I miss you too?” For months, Spencer had been away on case after case after case, leaving you to basically live by yourself in your shared apartment, wondering when the hell he was going to come home, or worse, if he was going to make it through work alive. 

When you first started dating, you admired him for what he did. You still did. But the reality of dating someone who did what he did was much different than you originally thought. A long time ago, you thought of yourself as a giving person, but recently, you were starting to feel selfish, because you wanted him to neglect his job for you. You didn’t like feeling selfish. “If you love me why can’t we figure out a way to make this work, Spence? I’m so tired of waking up alone. I’m tired of feeling like I play second fiddle to your job. It’s not fair to me.”

“You want me to quit my job?” he screamed back. 

“I don’t know!” You’d always assumed no - he loved his job, but the truth came out in the heat of the moment. You kind of did want him to quit his job. With his expanse of knowledge, he could do anything, so if he really wanted to make this work, then he could do something else for a living, right? He wouldn’t have such an erratic schedule, and better yet, if he did something like teaching, it was a pretty safe bet that he would make it home unharmed at the end of the day.

In the wake of your outburst, his face fell, his hands dropping to his side in exasperation and resignation. “I thought you said you liked that I did what I did. That it was a noble cause.”

“I did,” you cried, leaning back into the kitchen counter. “I do. But the reality of dating someone that does what you do is different than I thought. This is why Hotch and his wife ended things - not because they didn’t love each other. Because he wanted to have things both ways, but he couldn’t…and you can’t either.”

“So you want me to quit my job?” he repeated. The look that flashed across his eyes was one of panic. He didn’t know what else he would do for work. Not that he wouldn’t be able to find it, just that he didn’t know what else would give him the kind of fulfillment he craved - the knowledge that he was doing something to better the world. 

As the tears fell, pooling onto your arms, you met his gaze. “No.”

“But you’re unhappy,” he said. “I hate that you’re unhappy.”

You were. The reality was that you would continue to be if you were in this situation. But you also couldn’t ask him to quit his job. It was what he was meant for. That left only one option for the two of you. “I’ll pack my things,” you said softly as you turned toward the bedroom. 

“What do you mean you’ll pack your things?” he asked angrily, walking in after you as you went to pack up some of the things you’d need immediately. “You’re just going to leave when things get tough?!”

You stomped around the room, throwing clothes and other things into a duffel bag. “You’re job is who you are! I’m not going to ask you to quit it, so you can resent me later. And I’m woman enough to know that I am selfish and I want you home more, so this relationship isn’t going to work! You need someone that’s okay being left behind on a regular basis. That woman isn’t me!”

“I love you!” he screamed, when you ran toward the bathroom to grab some toiletries. “Why are you doing this? Why are you running?”

“Because I’m already hurting and I refuse to get hurt more. I love you too. More than I ever thought I could love anyone, but sometimes love just isn’t enough!” you said. 

The tears continued to flow down your face as you packed your things and quickly got changed. Last thing you needed was to be seen running down the street crying in your pajamas. As you packed, he ran after you, screaming that you were running because you were selfish. That there were plenty of people in similar positions who were married and had families, so why couldn’t the two of you. You took all you could until he called you a coward. 

Spinning around, you reeled your hand back and smacked him across the face, the loud crack resounding throughout the apartment. “I am not a coward. I am a realist. If you decide that you want to quit your job, that’s on you, but I won’t be the one to make you do and I won’t sit around here and wait for you to come home. I refuse to come second in your life. I want and deserve to be first!”

Throwing the bag strap over your shoulder, you slipped on your shoes and walked to the apartment door. “I love you. But I need to leave now before I end up more hurt than I already am. Goodbye, Spencer.”

As you ran down the stairs, hearing his footsteps close behind, you sobbed, wondering how that fantasy you’d had all those months ago had turned into such a horrible reality.


End file.
